She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
