Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
