Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
