Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
