we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
