Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
