she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
