I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
