i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
