I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
