You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
