I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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