U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
