Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
