Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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