why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
