she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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