She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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