For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i believe in u and ur pee
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
