This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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