"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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