i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
