Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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