I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
