I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
