Sry I called you an 8
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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