is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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