I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
