guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
