Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
