Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize