i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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