and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
