Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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