I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
