he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
smell my finger.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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