Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
