Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
