I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
