They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize