She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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