I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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