Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
