Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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