we're chasing vodka with high fives
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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