I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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