I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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