he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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