That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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