would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
