the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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