i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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