I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
pray to the hookup gods
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize