hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
