There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
