I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
