if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
