I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
