Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
