I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
