WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
