girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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