dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Damn victory sex feels great
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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