i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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