Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
