so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
