ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
