some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
