So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
